Bed Rest Days 10 & 11

Day 10 - July 20, 2014
33 Weeks and 3 Days Pregnant

Obese Hairless Cat is my Spirit Animal

• Lots of stitching and bitching today! My hips hurt, my butt hurts, and I found stretch marks on the bottom of my stomach - in the mirror. Thankfully I can't see them from my perspective. Let's add one more debt to Chalupa's balance sheet.
• Our landlord showed up at our front door. AGAIN. This guy. Apparently, the guy in the back house complained about the child-size trashcan that we share between units. And, instead of using the telephone like a normal person, he called the 95 year old woman across the street to find out if we were all home, then drove from Milpitas to Menlo Park to talk to back yard guy IN PERSON. It's not creepy at all that he asks neighbors to spy on us. Not at all. Shocker, backyard guy left the house (we can't all live my life) and wasn't here by the time landlord nightmare arrived. So what does does he do? Rings our doorbell of course. Well, let me tell you - this is the first time I have been thankful for my bed rest excuse. I cut him off when he started in on one of his patented 25 minute monologues and told him that I needed to lay down and couldn't speak to him at the moment. I think I'll just tell him I'm on bed rest for the rest of my life. This guy is the worst. Have I mentioned that the last time he was here he said, "looks like you've gained some weight!"?  I think I'll plant some bamboo seedlings in the back yard before we move out.
• Harrison made me chili dogs for dinner. I have been really into hot dogs this pregnancy. Don't judge me. He even picked up the good Applegate Farms hot dogs - they were delicious!

Day 11 - July 21, 2014

33 Weeks 4 Days Pregnant

• Mom visit! She brought cousin Lucille, her jack russell, to play with the pups. Sweet Dee is infatuated. Hurricane Jane stormed the house and accomplished more than seems humanly possible in a 4 hour visit. I'm super excited that she helped me change my sheets - if I could, I would change them daily, with the amount of night sweats I've had. I think I read once that Martha Stewart's biggest indulgence is that she changes her bed sheets every single day. I get it Martha. I get it.
• Interviewed another unsuspecting candidate via telephone, while I leaked colostrum all over my dirty white t-shirt. PLACE YOUR CAREER IN MY HANDS, I DARE YOU.
• Game of Crowns. You guys. It's Toddlers and Tiaras meets Real Housewives. One of them is named VanAssa. No joke. I'm not misspelling that. Vanassa. I already know that Vanassa is part Native American and a breast cancer survivor. First major fight of the series: one aging pageant competitor wore the same horrendous jumpsuit as Vanassa on the flight to Tuscon for the Mrs. America pageant. True story. I'm already obsessed.
• Nordstrom Anniversary sale goods delivered! Lots of leggings and some good new pajamas for the hospital. I guess I should get that hospital bag packed now.

That's about it! Tomorrow we have a doctor's appointment in the afternoon, so I'll be leaving the house for the first time in 6 days. Adventure!