33 Weeks

Today I officially made it to 33 weeks. Prior to the ultrasound, this was my next major "mental milestone," since I figured that it was just about 1/3 of the way through the "30's." Just like when I was allowed to exercise, I make strange goals for myself to count off the days and time.

So anyway, now that this has happened, I don't feel like my milestones matter anymore. Again, it's the feeling of wanting it to be over, but not wanting it to be over too soon, because it wouldn't be good for the baby. So now, I'm hesitant to countdown. But let's say that best case scenario, I probably have less than 50 days of pregnancy remaining. Hallelujah.

I decided to take a belly picture, a comically bad one at that, because I know I'll regret not taking more. I already regret skipping a bunch of weeks, but given the circumstance of this pregnancy, there are a lot of things that haven't gone the way I had hoped, so I'll let it go. Here's the belly today, bed rest style:

I could have gotten dressed for you, but that wasn't happening. Sorry. I did take a shower this morning, though! Notice that I can't even approach the mirror right now, because there is a baby cage in the way. This is the state of our whole house - nothing has worked out in way of preparing, and now that I'm bed-ridden, we are just stacking baby stuff on top of our normal stuff. It's kind of a nightmare. And yes, that's the birthing ball there in the back - ready to go. I hope we get to use it!

I always see these really twee pregnancy blogs where women fill out questionnaires about each week of their pregnancy. They are usually the women that also have pro-maternity pictures taken, and are holding up a decoratively-chalked board displaying their week, fetus size in vegetables (honeydew!), and their strange cravings. Well, even if things had gone differently for me, I don't think I'd be doing that, but I am going to try to document some stuff here for Chalupa. One day he'll probably be curious, or maybe I'll need to explain why he's obsessed with bacon or stone fruits. So here's my week 33 update:

Weight Gain: F*%&$ Off

Maternity Clothes? Since like week 8, like a normal person. Now I'm only wearing Men's XL t-shirts and yoga shorts. And bath robes. Bed rest for the win.

Sleep: Like a drunken rock when I can fall asleep. This takes an ice pack on my neck, a fan blowing directly on my at gale forces, and approximately 5 pillows - between the knees, under the belly, three under the head, and behind the back - so actually 6. Then I wake up ready to urinate my spandex pants no less than 3 times per night. The struggle is real. I also wake up every night with a very sweaty chest and collarbone. Why? I have no idea. It's super pleasant though.

Oh and the dreams. Last night I had the world's most vivid dream about being hungover. Like, I felt physically hungover when I woke up to pee. Are you kidding me? I haven't been able to touch booze in 8 months, but I can still vividly experience the hangover. Awesome work, brain.

One more new thing - baby likes to kick at whatever my belly is resting on now. So, if I'm laying on my left side with a pillow under my gut, he takes that chance to start raging against the pillow. It's just like being massaged to sleep. Just like that, yes.

Best Moment this Week: Uhh... my cervical check? I mean, this hasn't been the greatest week. I'd probably have to say that the best moment was eating the croissant my husband had hand delivered by a hipster in a mini van. That was probably the high point.

Gender: It's a puppy! I wish. It's a boy. George Michael has been a really lovely bedside nurse, though.

Movement: Spastic. Our Russian ultrasound tech even said last week, "he moves fast. Very fast." I would really like to know what he's doing in there. I like to imagine him like, tidying his room, rearranging the furniture. Don't mind me Chalupa, it's your uterus.

Pregnancy Symptoms: All of them? Heartburn if I forget my braggs apple cider miracle cure. Every hormonal side effect due to the mega progesterone dose I'm on. Wild back pain from being totally inactive all day, everyday.

What I Miss: Running. Working out until I'm too tired to be anxious. Being self sufficient. Mimosas and moscow mules. Gin and Tonic. Going to the office (??). Philz coffee. Sunshine. Not sweating 24/7. Drinking wine with my friends and family. I miss a lot of things.

Cravings: All desserts. Gummies. Pastries. Fruit. Bacon. Breakfast foods.We might be having a little Ron Swanson considering the amount of eggs and bacon I've consumed.